Wedding and Cars
My Maid-of-Honor and I were finally able to connect today. I filled her in on everything that has gone on. She was amazed that SO many things could be going on with this wedding.
Her and I got discussing our parents and what they do to us. She was telling me the anxiety she feels over inviting guests to her parents home. She gets so upset over it she has avoided bringing anyone around. I had no idea she was experiencing this.
She also told me about her younger sister buying a car and bringing it to the homestead to show off to her family. Her sister had painstakingly researched the make, model, year, and the dealership. She felt confident in her purchase and was excited to share her new toy. But when she took it over to show her family, her brothers crawled thru it and began to point out every flaw. Paint chip here, pulled canvas there, etc. She was devastated and went home in tears.
Her boyfriend pointed out that it was interesting that her big sister (my MOH) can see such positive things in people and things and yet the brothers, from the same family, can only ever point out flaws and negative aspects of everything.
It struck me as profound. Despite my parents and I all sharing a similar environment for decades, we're all still vastly different. And with this wedding situation we're all taking something DIFFERENT away from it....we're all seeing the same "car" but what I see as perfection is flawed and overpriced in their eyes.
Maybe that is a stretch.
I'm really trying to reach an understanding of WHERE they are coming from in all of this. I waiver from time to time. Maybe what they're requesting isn't so awful. Maybe I could do that.
BUT WAIT....it's MY wedding. Why am I making sacrifices that go against what I envision as being the perfect way to commit to my fiance so it appeases them? They should be excited for me and enjoying my ability to plan and organize such an event. Instead they've opted to be judgemental and ignorant. They intend to manipulate this day into what they want...not what the The Newf and I want.
Is it worth throwing all away? I truly don't know.
Her and I got discussing our parents and what they do to us. She was telling me the anxiety she feels over inviting guests to her parents home. She gets so upset over it she has avoided bringing anyone around. I had no idea she was experiencing this.
She also told me about her younger sister buying a car and bringing it to the homestead to show off to her family. Her sister had painstakingly researched the make, model, year, and the dealership. She felt confident in her purchase and was excited to share her new toy. But when she took it over to show her family, her brothers crawled thru it and began to point out every flaw. Paint chip here, pulled canvas there, etc. She was devastated and went home in tears.
Her boyfriend pointed out that it was interesting that her big sister (my MOH) can see such positive things in people and things and yet the brothers, from the same family, can only ever point out flaws and negative aspects of everything.
It struck me as profound. Despite my parents and I all sharing a similar environment for decades, we're all still vastly different. And with this wedding situation we're all taking something DIFFERENT away from it....we're all seeing the same "car" but what I see as perfection is flawed and overpriced in their eyes.
Maybe that is a stretch.
I'm really trying to reach an understanding of WHERE they are coming from in all of this. I waiver from time to time. Maybe what they're requesting isn't so awful. Maybe I could do that.
BUT WAIT....it's MY wedding. Why am I making sacrifices that go against what I envision as being the perfect way to commit to my fiance so it appeases them? They should be excited for me and enjoying my ability to plan and organize such an event. Instead they've opted to be judgemental and ignorant. They intend to manipulate this day into what they want...not what the The Newf and I want.
Is it worth throwing all away? I truly don't know.
posted by Crik at Tuesday, July 17, 2007
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